uncontrollable weapons of pointed destruction
By: Kelly Lynn
(how it feels to have memory loss)
a steel wire shivers / shakes / quakes
with each little ache
- beat -
my heart dares to make / to break apart
dices my insides / every time
someone unties a memory in
their
mind, ready to ride down the lane
while I sit - behind -
roadside
encases / won’t let it start
- skips - / loses its grip / - trips -
sputters out across the floor beneath my feet
heels click
caustic citrus drips down
my throat to promote silence
as friends and family sit smiling at me
asking me / reminding me
that I’m worthless / lost all purpose
left wordless / deserted them to the furthest corner
now a foreigner
rough cords of woven rope
hinders the words I
try to grope / to cope - mope -
walking a tightrope between
looking like I know
acting like I follow
what they say, said
without showing the dread under the
social microscope
lay on my neck out of fear of spears
and the smear between loose lips that
recite scripts / explain to everyone
that I’m a bad guy with my head in the sky
they’re dissatisfied / think I’m there to
deceive - lie -
rubber bands to hold me back
tied with no slack / smacked with a lack
of flashbacks and
making sure I know they won’t let go
won’t forgive me / fed ammo
see I’m an absentee who gives zero shits
about anybody
the serrated blade has strayed
to wreck any plans I’ve made
paths I’ve laid / walls - blockades -
against the grenade of inevitable realization
I’ve strayed
won its crusade against my trachea - slices -
release the mania stirred up by restless
bitter souls who know how shit I am
can’t see the pit that splits / entrenched
demands I admit I didn’t commit
didn’t care to learn
a single tidbit
scorpions skitter up my nose
I know I’ve got to show
that I’ve tried
leave their venom as a lesson
- blessing -
remind me to listen rather than seek
attention / validation
- aggression -
as if I wanted to carry this weapon
I can’t control
and the momentum
took its toll
Kelly Lynn (she/her) is a queer author from east-central Indiana, where she lives with her two polar opposite pooches, Mia and Maisie, as well as her horse, lovingly called PonyBoy. She has been published in Gaby&Min, In Parentheses, Anodyne, and more. In her free time, Kelly pretends to write her debut novel but mostly watches YouTube or plays FFXIV. To read more, visit kellylikestowrite.com