No Two Mornings
- Cathexis Northwest Press

- 17 hours ago
- 2 min read
By: Kendra Kopelke
The morning light thumb-tacked against the window
its shine slap-happy on the four cars on the street
the lawn blinded
the sidewalk a ribbon of sand
edged in black shadow
a few fallen leaves shine like broken glass in the grass
Sometimes I get lucky
and can see right away
and I don’t need a river or mountain to lift myself out
My wish, to get inside, get inside
this world, under its cover of
used canvas, read the notes
scratched on the underside. If I’ve learned anything
I’ve learned no two mornings alike
no two moments
either, even my eyes change
their receptivity
and the entryways change, the passwords,
there is no sure way
and it’s not as simple as seeing and not seeing.
The living room window is dirty
but keeps things straight,
and will sometimes tell me
when I’m getting warm.
Even without a crow, something happens in the sky.
I’ve never sat in a confessional, but I think here
on my couch
I’ve pulled the curtain. On the other side
of the pane sometimes
someone or something listens.
But it isn’t sins I want to hear myself saying
it’s desire.
My mother left the church and said
love was the only religion for her
and died without much thought
of the next life.
She didn’t want to have much to do with death
and took her doses of heaven and hell right here on earth.
She just wanted to live, that’s all,
I say it because its purity of desire
was never lost on me, to keep living,
even when I had to
put her lipstick on for her. She grew more beautiful
the less room she had
to move about in.
Heaven pooled around her.
Yesterday, walking with my dog at sunset,
a band of pink light opened up
on the horizon, I wished desperately
to be inside that pink,
to feel it brush my skin and taste it on my tongue.
To be the lozenge the sky would put in its mouth.
I wanted to be a fox that runs thin as a shadow
between the houses,
to have a heart that fits perfectly inside its chamber.
The browns of earth, the rust-colored leaves, the golden, mellow trees
the aroma of decomposing, the hidden light,
the autumnal silence
played like smoke.
Kendra Kopelke’s is a recently retired editor of Passager, a journal and press for writers over 50, which she co-founded in 1990. She was also founding director of the MFA in Creative Writing & Publishing Arts at the University of Baltimore. Her books of poetry include Eager Street, Bladderville, and Hopper’s Women.
