4AM AWAITING DIAGNOSIS

By: Mon Malanovich-Gallagher

why sleep

when back alleys swell with love song

fog veils over lampposts’ heads

their eyes agleam and

bridelike

time travels slowly

like a hand of a lover

over seaside wakening

low rumble of waves

coming crashing swallowing

my grief premature

and unspoken

it is only with its’ breath

wreaking havoc on my neck

that I fill this life with wonder

jump

between pockets of streetlight

like those in my teen jeans

too small for their purpose

become an expert

in being fine with little

a pen knife

a phone

crumbs of trauma to feed gulls

on a lonely prom bench

a pencil nub

a favourite poem

a vague memory of her love

in the meadow that one summer

sweet tingling swollen

parched

soil under knees

rock hard and fragrant

and every single blade of grass

so carefully transcribed

onto skin

like paper

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Mon is an accidental poet. Their words are as plain and their form as simple as the life of a queer, non-binary immigrant is not. They have been featured internationally in print and online. Find more of their work here: https://www.chillsubs.com/profile/monam