By: Daniele Spagnolo
Directions for When You Leave
knock into comets with all
hard skin, you are mixed
of clay and dirty water. what
a nice ball. whirl away from
catchers. especially
ones with no heads
and all arms and specifically
ones who don’t lose
grip. remember your duty
to your ball. this is, never
stay still. never stay long
enough to watch sun slink
’round your back east. and
even you, beneath two
palms you are heat and
you are visiting.
Smell every corner of that house.
becoming familiar with the dust
you left in it. count every one
count millions of flakes
in your head. keep numbers
quiet and give room for a story
from each member. remember
every time you remember you
are that memory older.
Now, stand on your head.
the goal is to make your eye bags
feel as close as your legs do
running. clap once. blink
twice. spin 180 degrees
opposite of staircase. what
a nice view.
I was born out of
my own pussy hands first and never looked
at another opening the same the sun was
surprising that day she sang lullabies and I
knew then waking up would have to be done
in private. Careful with it, go slowly. I would
never be allowed home. Bear mother to the farthest
echo, never close enough to sharks and you paint
on any ground and now they are trails, paint
traveled through your whole body first, paint
doesn’t want to be in tubes. Always carry
extra, just in case. her laugh is never
yours and still you make her lips wink, three
times a day even, and this is bonding. and
she knows the river well too, the river is her sister,
your aunt, and they have embarrassing stories
to only halfway tell, they let back then be
imagined, before you, Don’t say it so loud,
before I wouldn’t be allowed to be without
bleeding, quietly.
Daniele is currently studying poetry at The New School's graduate program in New York City. She is the 2018 student scholarship winner of Hippocamp Creative Non-fiction conference and Slice Literary Writer's conference; her non-fiction work has been previously published in Slingshot newspaper and her poetry was recently published in this year’s Grub Street literary magazine. Daniele is living her best cat-lesbian life amongst great friends in Queens and has no plans to ever stop crying about most things. “I feel strongly that poetry is medicinal, but much of this has to do with the intention behind the pen, the keyboard, the thumbs, what have you. Growth was my intention during my time with Directions For When You Leave, both growth and healing. With I was born out of, the goal was to explore the home I have always had. Both pieces were written during a time I needed them, and the fulfillment that comes from something I made by myself to ease pain is a feeling I want everyone to know. Make art always. “
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