Cathexis Northwest Press

© 2018 

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Surrealistic Circus
00:00 / 01:37

It is where I move along to the gallery of same-sex sandwiches

              Corridors of condiments and condemnation that entreat me and repeat

              Revulsions that make my eyes water from within and without

 

It is where I move along to the bemusement of the moneychangers

              With oily-pompadours and scaly smiles who seduce virginal buds of solitary joy

              With Kewpie dolls that weep from within and without

 

It is where I move along to the carnival of barren billets,

              Respite from wanton favours and rhyme. It speaks of the daze of summer

              Which make my heart break from within and without

 

It is where I glide along the midway of freaks and pinheads

              The zealot whispers the walrus song; the barker offers me one on a stick

              In the lad of screams, I must choose from within or without

 

It is where I am. I am trying to move along, my head a Casaba

              My feet a blacksmith’s envy. The stale corridors, sterile hopes and baby soaps

              The observed, observer and absurd, to my chagrin and my doubt

A self-identifying “Creative” and “Highly Sensitive Person,” Lindsey Morrison Grant is an award-winning poet, screenwriter, journalist, photographer, ceramic and mixed-media artist from Portland, Oregon. She's an ordained minister and State Certified Peer Support Specialist who obtained her Social Work degree from Concordia University-Portland. Twenty years after her initial diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder/ADD/PTSD at age 40, she attributes her current stability/wellness to her invaluable support network, personal accountability, mindfulness practice. ….. and, of course, practicing creative expression in Words, Sounds, and Images.

"'Surrealistic Circus' was written while I was in a mental ward. To me the last stanza makes this obvious, but maybe not to the reader. I obtained a 'pass' to attend a Saturday morning poetry class at a local community college. I informed the instructor of my situation and she told me, 'I don't buy that tortured artist bullshit.' Knowing what I know now about the connection between creativity and mental illness (manic depression, in particular), I now see the comment as naive. At the time, it was tortuously invalidating."