Cathexis Northwest Press

© 2018 

Regret

That’s what it was.

I didn’t have the words before.

I just knew I hated the clicking of pens,

pages whispering like autumn,

the iron gate creaks of twisted meaning.

 

a new semester

a new year

 

birds flew to better feet—lilies sang

deep from the stamen; 

I could hear it all.

that’s what it was.

My ears had regrown, and 

they hurt. 

 

from across the world

I could hear it all and

cried because it hurt.

the clicking of pens.

that’s what it was.

Violet Knight is a young poet, law student, and Winthrop University alumna living in Englewood, Colorado. Her work has been featured in The Oakland Review, and she will perform/has performed spoken word poetry at the 2019 Queer Spectra Arts Festival. She hopes to join an MFA program once she pays down her unnerving amount of student debt, and her favorite color is sapphire.

"When I wrote “Regret,” I was dealing with the realization that an ostensibly safe choice I made years ago was finally starting to splinter.  The choice ended up being even more perilous than simply taking a risk and going after what I truly wanted at the time, and that realization hurt in such a visceral way.  Consequently, I wanted to capture the experience of feeling defeated while still actively ensnared in a situation where I am not exactly happy. However, I would like to stress anyone reading that poetry is not a test.  It does not have a correct answer. Besides, how do you know that this entire paragraph wasn’t a lie to cover up the fact that there was no motivation for my writing this poem?*

 

*I don’t want to gaslight anyone, even for comedic effect. The motivation I stated is true.  I just wanted to drive home the idea that writers are merely one more interpretation of a work and not the end-all be-all authority as to what a poem means."