My Grand

By: Elizabeth Lorayne

She takes my hand

And guides it away—

Away from the trigger

Of the cold steel

That lies in my sweaty

Palm.

Yet another evening

Blind in the abyss—

Abyss of guilt

And remorse

And the “why am I am not 

with them.”

Instead I twist

A smile and suffer—

Suffer above, with my children

Who sing and read

The poetry of our lives and

I weep.

For they will never have

This time —

This time to breathe and

To love –

The love that surrounds me

Now.

So I hold—

I hold

Onto this cold steel

That lies in my palm

And maybe today

She’ll lose.

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Elizabeth Lorayne is a printmaker, artist, and an award-winning and critically acclaimed author. Her work has also appeared in The Haiku Foundation Blog and Boston Literary Magazine. She holds a B.S. from The New School in Manhattan, where she studied art, psychology, and creative writing. She lives in Newburyport, Massachusetts with her husband and daughter.